As the holiday season approaches, you may be looking forward to spending time with family members you haven’t seen in a while. You might even be planning a trip back to the home you grew up in if your parents are still there.
Along with the chance to relax, enjoy the company of those you love and make memories you’ll cherish for years to come, family gatherings present another opportunity. As you interact with your parents, you can gauge whether their health seems to have changed significantly since you last saw them.
Does your mother seem less steady on her feet, or is her hearing or eyesight noticeably worse?
Is your normally cheerful father subdued or quick-tempered? Has he become more forgetful?
These and other observations may prompt you to start thinking about whether it’s safe for your parents to stay where they are.
When Is It Time for Assisted Living (or Memory Care)?
As we age, changes in our health can lead to changes in our routines, our preferred activities and our personalities. We adapt to the extent we can. Sometimes, though, we deny that changes are occurring and we can no longer do everything we once did.
Older adults often grapple with decisions like when to move to assisted living, but having the support of their adult children and others who care about them can make it easier. This may be especially true for seniors who are living alone.
How To Know if Assisted Living Is Needed
When should assisted living be considered? If you or others have observed any of the following in your parents, it may be time.
- Daily activities are more difficult. This includes tasks such as taking a shower, getting dressed, preparing a meal and eating. Changes in hygiene are red flags.
- The house or yard has been neglected. Health problems or mobility issues could be preventing your parents from taking care of their home. Depression could also be a factor.
- Eating habits have changed. Buying groceries and preparing meals can be difficult for seniors with mobility or dexterity challenges. Physical, mental and emotional health issues can cause a loss of appetite. Dental problems can limit food choices.
- They aren’t taking medications properly. Forgetting to take a dose can happen to anyone. But confusion about when to take prescription medicines, how much to take or whether they’ve already been taken can be dangerous.
- Injuries have become more common. Cuts, bumps, bruises, scrapes, stubbed toes and sprains can be signs of poor balance, diminished eyesight or other health problems that can cause falls — and lead to more serious injuries.
- Bills are unpaid or mail is unopened. Letting financial responsibilities slide and ignoring important correspondence can indicate depression or cognitive decline.
- They don’t seem like themselves. Look for personality changes. If one parent is taking care of the other, the caretaker may be stressed and exhausted. Isolation, loneliness, withdrawal, apathy — these are all common among older adults. The support and social opportunities assisted living provides can make a tremendous difference. If dementia is causing a change in personality, memory care may be the solution.
Talking to Your Parents About Assisted Living
If you’re fortunate, your parents may broach the topic with you. They may have already given it some thought and want your perspective.
You might need to initiate the conversation, though. In this case, it can be helpful to discuss the subject first with your siblings, if you have any, or with others who know your parents well and can offer valuable insight.
It’s usually a good idea to have the first talk in person, if possible, and include others who want to participate in the decisions that will need to be made. Try not to make your parents feel as though you’re judging or “ganging up” on them.
Emphasize All They’ll Be Gaining
As you can imagine, your parents are most likely concerned about losing their independence. To help set them at ease, assure them it’s a shared decision and focus on the many positive aspects of assisted living.
- Help is available, if they need it, with everything from getting out of bed in the morning to coordinating their medical appointments and making sure their home is clean.
- Safety and security are priorities in assisted living communities. Residences and common areas are designed with older adults’ needs in mind, and newer communities like The Whitford have integrated advanced technologies that can even help with fall prevention.
- Enrichment opportunities are abundant, from social events and lifelong learning activities to wellness classes and trips to nearby venues.
- Nutritious meals are provided every day, without the hassle of grocery shopping, meal prep and clean up. Dining venues at The Whitford offer fresh, chef-inspired cuisine, and assisted living residences have kitchens for any additional meals and snacks.
When Should Your Parent Be in a Nursing Home?
First, let’s clarify what we mean by “nursing home.” Sometimes the term is used interchangeably with assisted living or skilled nursing, but there are distinctions among these care settings.
Nursing Homes vs. Skilled Nursing Facilities
Both types of facilities provide around-the-clock medical monitoring and certain medical services. A skilled nursing facility, however, usually provides short-term care and rehabilitative therapy, such as after a hospital stay for an acute illness, a severe injury or a major health event. The ultimate goal is for patients to be able to return to their homes.
A nursing home, by comparison, is a senior living facility that provides a limited scope of medical care on a long-term basis. Residents are medically stable but need a higher level of care than can often be provided through home health care.
Nursing Homes vs. Assisted Living Communities
At some point, you may find yourself wondering, does my mom need assisted living or a nursing home?
Compared with seniors in nursing homes, those in assisted living communities are usually in better health. They may have mobility issues or a chronic condition that’s controlled with medication, but other than needing some support with everyday tasks, they continue to take part in familiar routines.
Less than 50 years ago, dedicated communities for assisted living and memory care didn’t exist. If families were unable to provide the care their loved one needed, then putting a parent in a nursing home may have been the only option.
Signs Your Parent Needs a Nursing Home
A physician or other health professional will most likely let you know when to consider placing your parent in a nursing home. Such a step may be warranted in these scenarios:
- Your parent is in the later stages of a progressive or neurodegenerative disease such as Alzheimer’s, amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), Huntington’s, Parkinson’s or vascular dementia.
- Your parent has multiple chronic or complex health conditions such as chronic kidney disease, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, congestive heart failure, diabetes with complications, obesity or severe arthritis.
- Your parent has been falling frequently. In some cases, falls can result from certain medications or an underlying health condition that can be treated, so it’s crucial to determine what is causing the falls.
Inspired Senior Living Is Coming to Alameda County
If you or a loved one is interested in learning more about assisted living, The Whitford is happy to help. Momentum Senior Living is investing its considerable expertise into The Whitford, a brand-new rental community in Dublin, California, which will offer refined senior living, assisted living and memory care options.
Contact us to learn more about The Whitford and our VIP Program for founding members.
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